Justin Sherman - 1/12/10
QTN925 The Adventure Known as Outward Bound [Wilderness] Sailing and Canoeing (Multi-expedition) The Journal of Justin Sherman, Age 16 First Outward Bound experience. Night 1 – 7/22/09, 9:40pm Journaling “Exercise” at Group Meeting • What are you most nervous to leave behind? I don’t really know. I mean, I will miss Pumpkin , but I’m not nervous about leaving her. I’m definitely not nervous about leaving any of the electronics and communication things—in fact, I’m excited. It sets me above my friends and it points out that I did in fact do Outward Bound (OB). I mean, I know it’s not good to have too much pride, but I think I should have some. This is a huge thing. That was bit of a tan-gent. Most nervous to leave behind?? Nothing really. I’m going into this full force, no worries. I suppose if anything, not being in Ohio. I’m in “foreign” territory. I don’t know where I am and I don’t know how to get back. I guess I’m nervous about leaving my summer reading behind—just because I won’t be able to work on it and finishing it in time. See, the more I think the more that comes to me. I suppose news, too—staying informed. 3 weeks away—that’s a lot of news to miss. • What are you excited to leave behind? As I said above, communication and electronics. It will be great to “get down with nature.” • What are you most excited to be taking with you? My excitement and sense of adventure, but also my hopes and dreams (USCGA ). I have my goals and hope that this will help me reach them, make me stronger (in every sense). Yeah, I’m excited to be bringing my writing and journals—to just write and reflect. Day 2 – 7/23, 6:51pm I finally get the chance to journal for myself. This is how I planned to start this journal: “I am going to start this just like Jarred Osborne in The Story of B —I write this in hopes that someone will read this. In fact, I plan to publish at least parts of this in Shades at school. Therefore, because I am writing this to be read, I shall not address this to the Diary, but instead to friends and family—letters.” Dear Friends and Family, We (my dad and I) flew into Portland, ME on the Monday before the course—started on Wednesday. My dad left on Wednesday, so I was at the airport to meet the OB people at 11:30. There were LIMOS to take us to the Outward Bound location. Limos! So ironic. We’re supposed to be living in the wilderness with little luxuries, and we go in a limo. “They’re buttering us up,” we said. There was terrible traffic. We don’t really know what happened, but the “highway” (one lane each way) was at a standstill! It took us 5 hrs. to travel a 2 hr. distance! At one point in the ride, after about an hour and a half we asked the driver “How soon?” He told us 1 hour with NO traffic. We were shocked and burst out laughing. At one point we stopped to get food (I didn’t get any). While we were there we joked that the rest of the kids that arrived after us would pass us in their limo. In fact, we were kinda right. They arrived 30 min. before we did! We really got to know each other well in the limo—10 of us in an 8-person vehicle. Unfortunately three of the kids were on a different course (two similar courses started at the same time) so we’re not with them and there were 4 kids NOT with us. We arrived at the OB location and had a group meeting to go over the general rules. Our group then played a name game. It was Bippity-Boppity-Boop…. We then went inside to get our “mini-me’s”—our foul weather gear, or our foulies. We got rain gear—pants (overalls) and a jacket that look the lobster fishermen clothes, rubber boots, our PFD (personal floatation device), and a whistle. Then we headed down for the infamous…duffle shuffle. I brought so much less stuff than I brought—and I didn’t bring a lot. After locking up our suitcases and extra cases, we put our things in the “tent.” It was pretty high quality. It had a wood floor and held our entire group of 13. We then got our food packed and put it in our boat—pulling boat #4. It was in these crates and we had to put it into buckets. It was certainly a puzzle. There was SO much food and SO many options. Later, our cooks made mac + cheese w/broccoli, garlic, and onions. It was really good or should I say “amazing”? It was really sunny, cool, and breezy—great weather, but the bugs were terrible. I learned about the black flies. They were really small. I had expected them to be like horse flies @ home…They were annoying, though. Their bite was a mixture b/n a tick’s and a mosquito’s—feels like mosquitoes, stays like a tick. Later—during sunset + dusk the mosquitoes themselves came out and were super annoying—even with bug spray. They swarmed your head and arms and legs. Most of us did a walking dinner—we walked while we ate to avoid the bugs. After dinner we had our group meeting in the tent—running in and out as a group so as to not let the mosquitoes in. The meeting’s where I wrote the 1st (1st) entry. We woke up this morning (7/23) @ 5:30 to run. Then, after our mile run, we headed down to the water. We jumped in and had a swim assessment. The water was FREEZING! It was so cold, I had trouble breathing, but after getting out, the air temp. felt really high. After cleaning up camp, we went down to the boat to get ready to leave. Then we made breakfast on the boat—oatmeal and raisins w/brown sugar and cinnamon. Them we learned to row and set up the sails. PB&J for lunch. Day 3: 7/23, 5:30pm We sailed until dinner. (A) To use the restroom you can go over the side or you can go into the yellow bucket. Before dinner we set up the tarp for sleeping. It looks kinda like this. We moved the oars so that they made a slate-like bench to sleep on. Dinner was pasta with tomato sauce, garlic, onions, and carrots. That night was our first experience sleeping on the boat and doing anchor watch. Mine as @ 3AM! We went to bed @ 10:30pm. When I woke up for the watch it was raining…blah!! It soaked through the tarp and was dripping on us. For watch I sat on the head in the bow of the boat (front). I looked out over the waters. During group meeting there had been clear skies and a beautiful sunset. I reflected on that time. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Journaling “exercise” • What is a community you belong to? What are 3 traits that make it a community? What does your ideal community “look like” (3 traits)? My example community is my theater @ school—that was the first one that pooped into my head. We work together to get a job done (first trait)—in this case a production. We are motivated to work because it is our passion (trait 2)—we put our hearts into our work. Finally, we all have roles—literally and in the community (trait 3). WE know the jobs we are supposed to do and we do them. For my ideal community, (1) everyone would have certain roles/jobs. We would all know our work and be equals, just as in theater (kinda). (2) Second, we would be ORGANIZED. WE would have goals and check points to get to. (3) Last, we would (again) have heart and passion for what we did so as to allow us to move quickly and efficiently, and with quality, to get the job done. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Day 3, 7/23 The water was still and the tide was going out. It lapped against the rocks, creating the perfect rhythm to which the sun could go down. Cliché, I know, but as a friend of mine says, “It wouldn’t be cliché if it wasn’t true.” I had looked at the houses along the coast and thought about how much I wish to spend the night in a bed, but away from home—preferably in a “suburban” home. Maybe I longed for my grandma’s house—my home away from home—or my aunt’s from Connecticut or maybe my mom’s high school best friend’s on a lake in N. Carolina. Regardless, I longed for the warm lights and the excitement of being away from home. During the meeting I had also seen a car drive into a driveway. I remembered while on watch how I had also longed for the feeling of finally arriving to you vacation destination after a long day’s drive. My watch ended, I checked our depth, then returned to bed for another hour and a half—a poor sleep awaited me, I knew. We woke at 5:30 today. It took us an hour and a half to get ready to jump into the ocean—one at a time. I did it. Again the water was freezing, but to have something around me was nice. When I got out, it felt warm. It took us another hour to get ready for breakfast—fried bagels and cc w/ hot cocoa. We were cold and wet, so moving fast as we should have been was hard!! After breakfast we had to get our things stored and prepare the boat for sailing. We finally set sail at 11:36AM. After sailing for about 15 minutes we decided the water too rough and the wind too strong to continue. (B) So we turned around and re-anchored at the place we anchored the night before. We were still cold and we made grilled cheese and tea. It warmed us up for sure. ¶ We were all pretty tired by now as we had been up for a while. We had a brief session of lessons on navigations and ways to sail w/ the wind. Then we played Mafia—It was so entertaining and exciting. It woke me up. I tell you, with the tarps up, one gets used to the sway of the boat, and at times, I forget that I’m on a boat, anchored in the middle of the ocean off the coast of Maine. This is where I am now, waiting for dinner, slightly chilled and slightly damp. I think I can cope (A) At times we had to row. I rowed a lot. Not to brag, but I did not get tired as the others did. Rowing—are repetitive motion—is so hypnotizing. I forgot what I was doing and my mind wandered, but did not actually reach rational thoughts. It was as if they were veiled, just beyond the curtain of my consciousness—as if I were actually hypnotized. (B) Today as I looked out at the sea, the rain, the fog, I no longer felt that feeling I felt when running with Dad on Tuesday. Let me explain that feeling. As we ran along the Promenade in Portland, I was able to look out across the sea. It was raining just as today. As I looked out across the ocean, I felt a great rush of emotion. I wanted to grab it and hold it and to yell at it “You are mine! I possess you.” Of course that isn’t true at all, but I wanted it all the same. I wanted a model version of it so that I could control the boats and the motion of the water. Lego-world size was the idea size for me (with real water, of course). I no longer felt this while out on the water in the rain—the ocean the same gray, the same rain, the same wind. Perhaps it was because the water was so much bigger. I was on it, so it was life-size. I could not longer envision it as a model. I fear that my misery earlier today will ruin my love for the ocean and sailing. Then I realized the sailing I long for is not this extreme. I expressed this somewhat to our leaders Meredith and Catherine (I don’t think I’ve introduced them yet.) Meredith explained that learning the basics here are crucial for sailing on bigger (and better) boats. I understand… While I’m introducing people, I shall introduce a few of the others on the boat (I shall introduce the others later). We have 3 native Spanish speakers! I plan to practice with them. Diego lives in (and is from) Mexico. Carmen es de México, pero ella vive circa de San Francisco. La última, Sindy, es de la República Dominicana y ella vive en Boston. Sorry for slipping into Spanish there. Diego y Carmen está hablando en español ahora. ? On other person I shall introduce right now because I had to do a “get-to-know-you” activity with her. Melani. I don’t know much about where she’s from (funny) but I know it’s a small town. She has a sis-ter, age 10 and is here b/c of troubles with her mom. Her mom wanted her to come here to “find herself.” She’s an artist and would LOVE to move to Venice and study art (she’d learn Italian on the way…). She likes Disney movies like me and her room is blue, and she sleeps with many pillows, just like me. We had to find out things that we had in common and things that were unique, so that’s what I learned. Over and out for now! I’m up to date! For now… Day 5/6 – 7/26, 3:51AM (anchor watch) Dear Friends + Family, I’m on anchor watch—second to last so that is why I am writing at this time. Last night’s anchor watch was nice and clear, too, but I didn’t know where the stuff bucket was (place we put our journals), so I couldn’t write. Last night’s watch started at the same time—weird. This night/morning—it’s foggy! I shall continue my story from last night: I was able to see the beginning of the sunrise—kinda. I was able to see it getting lighter (but no sun). At one point, I heard this exhaling noise to the starboard (right) side of the ship. It came closer to the ship. It was still pretty dark, so I couldn’t see what it was. I was kinda scared. I don’t know why—it wasn’t a person—the water was way too cold for that. When it got really close to the ship, I could see a dark shape come out of the water at the same time as the noise. I thought I must be some kind of fish. Dolphin also passed through my mind, but I know it’s too cold for them. Whale, too, but again, I was unsure. When we woke up an hour and a half after my watch, I asked Meredith and Catherine. Turns out it was a porpoise!! They’re supposedly good luck… It was nice and sunny when we woke—way better than the precious morning. During dip time, we saw a seal near the boat!! Right as we began to sail, it began to rain, but it quickly let up and it became a BEAUTIFUL warm, sunny day. We put things out to dry and were sailing pretty quickly. I learned the 3 wind positions and the position of the mizzen (back sail), main sail, and the center board. I was cook yesterday! For breakfast we made yogurt and granola. For lunch we had cheese sandwiches w/ lettuce, tomato, mayo, + mustard. I didn’t have the tom or the mayo. Shortly after lunch we reached our planned destination, so we stopped, figured out our next course and then continued on. While sailing, we ran into some thick fog. It was really eerie. I couldn’t help thinking that this is how “crazy stuff” happens in movies. ? When the fog lifted though, I could see islands with their tall pine trees. Along the coast were really nice beach houses. (C) We anchored late, so we didn’t eat dinner til 9:30. We had burritos! Black beans, rice, pepper, onion (+ garlic), cheese, lettuce, and salsa. It was really good! (C) Also while sailing, we saw some type of sea hawk and its nest. We were able to see little baby hawk heads sticking up! While I rowed I sang songs from Camp Recky. There was something I was going to reflect on again, but at the moment I can’t remember Speaking of wild life (that seems to be the theme 2day). We saw 2 jellyfish @ the place we anchored and a small crab . And, speaking of crabs, quick side story. We saw one down by the dock the first day for our 1st ever morning dip. Another cool story about the place we anchored. It was really foggy when we anchored so we could barely make out land. As one is first able to see it, only the darkest parts “shine” thought: rock cracks and trees, so it looks like some huge mutant vessel. Anyway, after being at anchorage for a while, the fog cleared and we could see the light of an island city behind us—WAY COOL! I just heard a porpoise again, so with that I say over and out!!! Day 7, 7/27 7:28Pm It’s thunder storming, the rain’s coming through the tarp, but it’s very warm under here. I shall start w/ the thing I forgot—I remembered today while putting up the sail. The wind makes the sail an animal. We have to hold it on a leash. It whips around and it hits us as if it wishes to be free. Now I shall talk about day 4. Breakfast: scrambled eggs w/cheese + hash browns Lunch: Tuna on pita w/ onion, mayo, + mustard. We actually stopped @ a place called Stonington and walked around—LAND. We all had the sailor’s gait—yay! Dinner: Corn chowder: potatoes, onions, carrots. It was really foggy again. Did I mention that every morning we have to jump in the water? Well we do—It’s cold (duh!). Maybe because I’m rushing I don’t remember much. I was bosun /medic. It’s cool because the guy who gave us a tour @ the CG in Portland was a bosun. ? Day 5: I was captain. It was stressful. It was foggy. The ocean was really “swelly” and it was chilly and cold. It was definitely scary on the helm b/c I am the one controlling the boat and am responsible for the boat. If we hit something, it’s my fault. As captain, I have to motivate the group. Not hard. End of day three, Melani said that she always sees me happy, and that’s how she wanted to be. The next day (day 4) I was extremely optimistic and en-couraging. Last night @ evening meeting Catherine and Meredith said that they were stepping back and beginning the final challenge. Another reason to be nervous—I was entirely in charge. (Thankfully they didn’t). I had to help the navigators plot the course, direct all boat activities, and of course, sail. I remained as optimistic as possible. It was a bit harder than yesterday b/c the weather wasn’t as good. I know I say never let the weather affect your feelings, but it makes you could and wet or warm and dry and your physical feelings do affect you mood. So here are the meals today: Breakfast—bagels w/ cream cheese Lunch—PB&J Dinner—Lentil soup. Yes. It reminds me of Grandma and her (old) house and her old self. Oh, something exciting for today. While we were sailing in the fog, about 7 ! seals (seven!) were following us. They were in a semi-circle around the back of the boat. It was cool. It was as if they were guiding us in the right direction and kinda protecting us, I guess. Oh, at dinner, I get to read a quote, like all the captains and then we have a moment of silence—reminds me of Glen Helen. I’ve been thinking about the 2 camps I went to there. I really did love it. So yep—going to do my quote. Over and out. Day 8, 7/29 Journaling Exercise Prompt 3 • Think about final sailing expeditions and our role Captain Crew also in life Cargo happy? Today I was crew mostly. I was a captain a bit of times but tried to back off because of the feed back I received… I am content with this role. I am helping a lot in a new way (a different way than I am use to and that’s good!). I have to learn that I can’t always be the leader. Not to be bitter, but sometimes you (i) let them figure it out by themselves/mess up themselves, and then (ii) find they really do need you and appreciate you/rely on you. Day 8, 7/29, 9:17 PM Dear Friends and family, I am waiting for dinner now—we were given specific time to journal. Yay! I shall catch you up to speed. I’ll start writing where I left off before which happens to fit really well with what I just wrote about in my journal exercise. The quote I chose was the one by Shakespeare from Julius Caesar (It was one of the ones we had to memorize for freshman humanities (good times!)). It’s the one about the tide in the affairs of men. Quickly, while I’m on the topic. We have here at OB a little ritual before dinner. I think I might have talked about this already, but I’ll do it again. I’m pretty sure there are parts I left out. So captain reads the quote s/he chooses. Then we have a moment of silence (I pray during that time); during the silence, we “pass the pulse”—I squeeze the person to my right’s hand and that squeeze (or pulse) goes around the circle. When I feel it on my left, I look up and we begin to serve dinner. There’s that little 2 cents bit. Moving on. After dinner and after the scrubs (cleaners) have cleaned up from dinner, we have evening meeting. We start with captain self-feed back. Then the crew adds to that. Everyone said that I did a great job about motivating and that I knew so much. Advice: I should delegate jobs. This is where the backing off part comes in. The next day we were tense. We weren’t sailing well—we were slow and not getting anywhere. I was upset with myself because I couldn’t figure out the best way to sail the others were tense b/c they were upset with the others and w/ Meredith and Catherine. We had planned to anchor, go on land, and see a light house. We did a terrible job anchoring—we almost ran onto rocks, so we had to row out and start again. Then we had a “feet in the cockpit” to talk about what happened. Then we had a 10 minute break, then we reconvened. We talked about the tensions that were building. Turns out the others were upset with me (and Sindy) because I was being “bossy” and acting like the captain and not letting Makeeba do it. So, I backed off and didn’t say much the rest of the day. I guess I can’t find a happy medium between instructing and not. One of the comments was that I was talking as if they were below me. I didn’t think I was (so I obviously wasn’t trying to). I need to learn how to command/suggest without sounding commanding. :S People noticed I was down—though I was trying to not let it get me down. It was good, constructive advice to remember especially in my future. I kept telling myself everything was fine. It was just me, not them. I felt like, however, that the guys—not Qu—and Melani and Sloan (the two closest girls to the guys) were somewhat distant to me and weren’t sure how to act around me—especially Philip. But maybe I’m just seeing that…whatever! Sindy and I talked about it a bit—she got the same comments. We were on the same level! I was somewhat irritated when Jake started being really commanding later, but I didn’t say anything. I had been so “commanding” earlier because everyone was just lounging and not sailing, and I wanted to. Anyway, later, they were all just sitting there (before dinner). Carmen and I set up almost the entire tarp by ourselves. I didn’t ask for help—I thought I might be too commanding [sarcasm]. I didn’t write on watch because I was tired and it was a beautiful night. I didn’t want to miss it. ? I think that if I had written, it would have woken me up. (I didn’t write the night I was captain because there was no anchor to watch since we were moored. The next night it was raining… ?). Day 10—Fri, 7/31, 5:34pm Journaling Exercise 4 • How do you feel now in terms of your comfort zone? I feel pretty good. I’m not 100% comfortable, but I would say 90%. I’m being positive and accepting. • How did you feel (in terms of comfort zone) when rock climbing? I was kinda in my uncomfortable zone, but I busted through it. • How does moving out of your comfort zone challenge you? It’s great. Once you do it, each next time it’s closer and closer to your comfort zone. You may never get to a comfort zone, but you can be comfortable with being uncomfortable and outside you comfort zone (if that makes sense). Also, not only with one thing (i.e. rock climbing) but you can apply that to other things (i.e. emptying the yellow bucket). Day 10—7/31, 5:45pm Dear Family and Friends, Right now it is raining again, but I am pretty dry b/c I was wearing my rain gear, and I’m in my tent now. I have lots to say, but I will start with the tent info. My “roommates” are Diego and Qu (he’s Chi-nese; been in US for 5 years.) In the other tents are the following: -Jake Jones -Philip Ingalls (he’s related to Laura Ingalls! She was some great-great cousin or something. -Shawn James Girls - Carmen - Sindy - Makeeba Sloan Melani For example, Jake drinks (he’s 16) and smokes—I think he was arrested and so his parents sent him here. Melani does drugs, was arrested for selling them, and has a felony charge. Sloan is here on a scholarship and has to do it (basically) for school and the scholarship. She’s quite smart. I guess I’ll continue to talk about the social stuff and then if I have time tell the rest of my story (I have a page of notes of things to write about so I don’t forget!) It appears to me that the group is splitting between the “in/cool” group and the “outside” group. Melani, Jake, Sloan, Shawn, and Philip make up the core of it. Diego is in it most of the time (because he likes Melani). The group likes Qu, so he’s pretty much in. Makeeba, Carmen, and Sindy aren’t really cared for (basically), but people are kind/nice to them. It’s kinda the same way form me. I’m glad I’m not in the inner group though! Melani does try to make an effort to try to be kind and include me, or at least talk to me. (A) I’m totally fine with all this. I enjoy being on the outside, but maybe that’s because I can look at them and condemn them for exclusion. Anyway I’m happy. (B) (A) The inner group has taken to wrapping a rolled up bandana around their heads. Also, you know you’re in if Jake let’s you wear his hat. Another trait about this group is that they complain a lot. Especially Jake, Sloan, and Shawn. (B) I think that Jake and Shawn get annoyed with me often (they were the ones that criticized my lead-ership.) Jake does annoy me sometimes with his negativity. I try hard to push those thoughts away and only think about positive things. I have one more thing to complain about Jake about (maybe after I write it out here I won’t think about it as much and it won’t bother me.) After he criticized me for “being captain” when it wasn’t my day, he began to be very leader/director-ish. He’s still kinda that way. I think (and I may be totally wrong about all this—these are just my thoughts, feelings, and observations) that he thinks he’s better than us—what he criticized me for. Anyway, yeah. All out. Again, all these thoughts about what people think may be totally off, but just putting down what I feel. That’s what diaries/journals are for. ? Now let’s see, where in the story did I leave off? I have so much to catch up on! I’ll start by talking about the meals and the weather from days 7-9 It was pretty foggy, but we did get sun—I got a little burned on my ears, hairline, and lips. Today, Day 10, it’s raining. I’ll go through the meals now. :S ? Day 7 - Breakfast: raisin bran and/or granola with powdered milk. We all can’t remember if this is actually it (I asked around) but we’re pretty sure. - Lunch: Hummus on pita with tomatoes and onions. The hummus was made from a powder, so it wasn’t that good. - Dinner: Bulgur chili—bulgur is a type of bean. It was really good. ? Day 8 - Breakfast: same as day 7 - Lunch: PB&J on tortilla and a cheese sandwich w/ mustard. It was the last day, so we were trying to finish as much food as possible. - Dinner (at Wheeler Bay base): Ramon noodles with broccoli and carrots. I used chicken seasonings. ? Day 9 - Break: Pancakes and syrup. We got only 2 pancakes and I’m pretty sure the syrup wasn’t low/no sugar (but I’m not complaining). - Lunch: PB&J on bagels, plain cinnamon raisin bagels - Dinner (at our campsite!): large cuscus with broccoli, peppers, carrots, and onions in a soy sauce. ? Day 10—I was/am COOK! w/Diego - Break: 7 grains (like oatmeal) w/ brown sugar and cinnamon - Lunch: tortillas with cheese (don’t know what type, it was white—It wasn’t Swiss. I don’t think it was provolone, though. Maybe American? No, I don’t think so. I don’t know) and salsa. - Dinner: Diego and I are going to make pasta w/ a chili sauce. Sounds really good! Well I have to go—hopefully I’ll have more time later to write my “story” and thoughts. Lots to write—I’ll have to catch up on solo—it’s soon! Day 12, 8/2, 7:00pm Dear Friends and family, You will never read this (unless I show it—or probably have to read it—to you) because I’ve decided that I will not publish parts of this 100% 100% verbatim because it’s so mixed up, so yeah. I’ll re-write it in chronological form—we’ll see if I put the writing date on…I may… I don’t want to write now b/c I don’t have much time and I wanna talk/hang w/ the others. Also, solo is tmro so I know for sure I can write a lot (catch up) tomorrow. Day 13, 8/3 Time: unknown. Sun @ about 70o from horizon. Guess: near noon Dear Friends and Family, Solo is finally here! My tarp and things are set up, and I’m down by the water writing. They took our watches (that’s why I don’t know the time) and headlamps—they want us to focus on ourselves, being alone, nature, whatever. They gave us a minimal amount of food, and they gave us the option of fasting. I think I’m going to try that. I’ll be safe of course—if I don’t feel well, I’ll eat. I’m totally cool with not having a watch, but how will we know an hour/½ hour is up for our water? I’ll just wait a long time. They gave us 3 assignments to do while on solo. We have to do the following: - Write a letter to ourselves that we will get in 6 mo. - Write a letter to the group about the group - Make some type of gift for a person we were assigned. It can be anything. I have Melani. I don’t know what I’m going to make, but I would like it to be something physical/from the woods, not a letter or poem or something like that. So I’m off to do the two letters. I have to think about the third thing. I’ll be back to catch this up in a bit! P.S. Did I mention I have a great view of the lake? Dear Friends and Family, I’m back. I’m sitting near the water so I have to wear a PFD (personal floatation device/life jacket)—just so you know what I’m wearing. When I was looking out at the water and the mountains, I had a twinge of homesickness, I guess you could say. I missed everyone back at home. Well, actually, I missed the fact that they aren’t here to share this wonderful experience with me. In general though, I haven’t been very home sick. I haven’t even missed Pumpkin like I thought I would. I think it’s because I’m doing so much I can’t think about home. I don’t have time. There are times when I think about the trip home—I’m so excited to by flying alone. I’m planning the work I will do on my summer reading. We weren’t allowed to bring books, so I can’t do summer reading now. ? Actually, there have been a totally of 4 times (for sure) that I’ve thought about Pumpkin. The first was on the boat when we were all just sitting around the talking about ourselves. I showed people the pictures I had of her. The next time was when we went ashore to Stonington. I saw a few dogs, and I missed Pumpkin. I wanted to pet the dogs, but I couldn’t. I feel like petting the dogs would have helped me. The next time was when we got back to Wheeler Bay. Someone (staff) brought their dog there. Again I couldn’t pet it. This time was because my hands were dirty and wet. The fourth time was just now when I had to get paper out to write the letters. I keep the pictures in there, so I saw them. I looked at them and then was OK again. ? In regards to homesickness, I’m not really that sick (I guess you could say). Sure, I miss Mom and Dad and my friends, but it’s not overbearing. At first I kinda missed the comforts and ease of home, but I realized that being uncomfortable makes me stronger. I must say, I’m pretty comfortable right now. I realize it will kinda be the same way at the Coast Guard Academy. There will be things I don’t want to do, it won’t be as easy as living at home, and I will miss home, but I know now I can push through that and allow it to make me stronger. Sun: almost directly overhead Dear Friends and Family, Alright, here it goes. The big catch up. I’m starting at day 7. I forgot to put this in my account for that day. While we were sailing, I think I saw a Coast Guard fast boat go by (we were near a city). Then, a few minutes later we saw a big CG boat pass with several men on it. A few minutes later, I think I saw the helicopter off in the distance, but I was too far to tell the color, so I don’t know for sure. Jumping forward to the last day of sailing. It was foggy, of course. I was on bow watch, which means I sit on the front of the boat and call back to the helmsman (in the stern, steering the boat with the rudder); I yell things regarding our position in relation to other things I can see, such as land, boats, or navigation aids. I also tell him/her about lobster trap markers in the water. It’s lobster season (there’s a festival going on this weekend near here) so the coastal waters are filled with lobster traps—the markers that float on top of the water are all sorts of colors and combinations of colors and patterns. As Meredith put it, “it looks like someone poured a bag of Skittles into the water.” Anyway, it was so foggy that we could only see about 50 ft in front of us. I strained my eyes to see if I could spot anything that would inform us of our position. As I looked, I wanted to reach out in front of me and wipe away the fog as if it were merely a clouded glass plate. It, of course, was fruitless to even do so. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about life on the boat, so I suppose I should do so now. We brought all our food in plastic bags and buckets which we stored under the thwarts (or seats/benches). We also put things like produce, mustard , and oil in a place called the lazarette. It’s in the bottom of the boat. Its proximity to the water helps keep the food chilled. We also had a cooler. We brought 25 liters of water—5 five-gallon jugs—we only DRANK this water. To clean pots, etc and brush our teeth, we used ocean water. We had a propane-powered camp stove to cook on. We had a tarp (NOT waterproof!) we set up each night and lay the oars across the boat. Then we lay down sleeping pads. We all lay really close to each other in our sleeping bags. On every Outward Board trip, each person in the group is assigned a daily job. (The jobs rotate each day). We have captain, bosun/health (on the boat), cooks (2), navigators (2), scrubs (2) (cleaners), tarp master (boat)/camp craftsman (land), and canoe guru (land). There’s a group journalist that writes about the day’s events. Unfortunately, our groups hasn’t been keeping up with that… The bosun makes sure the boat is clean and that everyone’s water bottle is filled. Canoe guru looks after the well-being of the canoes. Anyway, back to “the story.” So we returned to Wheeler Bay, the place we sailed out of. Because we were back, I decided to reflect on the sailing experience while we worked to clean the boat and the gear. I was glad to be back on land. Yes, I did enjoy sailing and living on the boat, but life on the boat was in-tense and challenging. I was sad, though, to say goodbye to my home for the past 7 days. Perhaps it was because I felt slightly cheated out of three more weeks I could have had living on a boat—like the other group. It’s fine though. I’m glad I get to canoe and camp and get back a week earlier to get my summer reading done! I had to clean out the food-related stuff. We had to throw a lot of unused food away. It killed me. I mean, I understand for stuff that could go bad because it wasn’t properly stored. The other stuff, I mean, I understand, but I hated it! We put the food into a bucket. At the end, it looked like a food version of Jackson Pollock’s work. There is something kinda positive I have to say. I cleaned the top of the cooler which had a grid pattern of grooves and there was dirt in those grooves. We were instructed to remove all dirt and grime from cracks, etc. So I did. I used a knife then a safety pin to get into the tiny grooves. I must say (and not to be prideful) I did a really great job. It was probably one of the most thorough cleaning jobs I’ve done! As I was walking around camp, I marveled at the feeling of walking on solid ground again. It was almost as if the land was moving forward under me, like a treadmill. Later, we went running, and it felt great! The next day we took a van to northern Maine (the end-of-the-Appalachian region—kinda). On the ride there, we listened to the radio. It was a classic rock station and the announcer made an announcement about Billy Joel and John Elton (I think) having a concert @ the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, OH. Oh yeah! Home! ? It was nice to see “civilization” again, too. I also felt though, that we were kinda cheating, coming back—but we stayed in the van, so it was OK. ? We packed all the clothes we wanted/needed as well as food for the group and other group supplies in the big backpacking backpacks. They’re really heavy. I don’t like wearing them on my back because it messes up my posture and hurts my shoulders, but hiking with them is great! exercise. Since we’re on fresh water, we can just get our water from the lake. We boil it for dinner and use iodine for our water bottles. 10 drops and it’ll be ready in ½ hour; 5 and it’ll be ready in an hour. I usually do 5 drops. Living on land is about as hard as living on the boat. There are just different ways that are hard. We have to over 50 feet from camp and water to use the bathroom. We use the water from our bottles to clean or bowls. We can then either drink that water or strain it and put the specs of food in the compost. I drink mine. So, stuff like that is hard, whereas on the boat it was hard because we had limited space and movement. It equals out. They are equally challenging. … On day 10 we went rock climbing. It was really fun. We climbed legit. rock faces with only natural foot and hand holds. We still used harnesses and ropes of course—these were regulated places. It felt so good to get to the top and look out and down and see how far you’ve come with just your hands and feet. It was raining while we climbed, and the rocks had moss on them, but it was a great challenge. On the way down, it felt so good to feel damp, see bits of moss and dirt on your arms and legs, and see the tiny streams of blood smeared on your legs from cuts and crapes from the rock. It felt sooooo good. After-ward your fingers burned a bit, but that feeling of having worked my body felt so good, but then again, I like to run and exercise…? On the way back, we had to walk down trails on the side of the mountains. It was really muddy. Some-times I would step down and my foot would slide farther than I expected. It was like a great slip’n’slide. Those moments were so exciting and fun! The next day (Day 11) we canoed for the first time. We had to take a van (again) to get to the place we would start canoeing. While we were waiting at this new place for our food to arrive, a man and his daughter who where camping there gave us sodas. Phil and I took Capri sun b/c we felt that soda was cheating. We have drink mixes here, so it was better… Qu was my canoe buddy. Near the beginning of our route, we came to an inlet. It was so beautiful. I should have taken a picture, but I couldn’t get to the camera! I’ll describe it. There were dark green mountains behind us, rising up in the clear blue skies. We were surrounded by forests of pine. The sun shone brightly on the water. Grasses swayed beneath the surface of the water, and lilies floated on top, moving to the sides of the canoe as we paddled and glided past. At one point, we canoed past a large tree trunk sticking out of the water. Beneath the water was its immense root system, the roots crossing over and under each other. Melani said she saw an eagle, too! We are in a place that has lots of moose, but we have yet to see one. The lake was just as beautiful. Big, white fluffy clouds in the sky were reflected on the water. Next the pale blue of the sky followed by the darker blue that became the dark, black depths of the water right beside us. The side of the waves that we could see reflected those dark depths, reminding us of the blackness of the deep water below us. In all, the surface of the lake provided the perfect natural shading I’ve seen. When we got near to shore, I could see the great rocks on the bottom. “Light ripples” moved across the rocks. It was hypnotizing to just stare down at the veins of light that passed beneath the canoe. Sometimes when we were near to shore and the wind was blowing just the right direction, we could smell the pines on the islands. It was weird, though to see the rocks and the shore the same size throughout the day. It was use to seeing land rise and fall, grow and shrink with the tides. No rising water levels seems strange to me. ? While we were canoeing I saw several planes that could land on water fly over. I wish I could have seen one land, or should I say “water”? ? Sun set on the lake was beautiful, too. It seemed that all the colors of the rainbow were in the sky and then reflected on the lake. I wish I had had my camera. Our campsite that night wasn’t an established one. It was cool, though. Ferns grew really thick around the trees. When one walked through them it was as if they were walking through water—you couldn’t see your feet! I named that place the Sea of Ferns. Sounds like something from a fantasy book, doesn’t it? ? Before I go on, I’m going to write out the meals for day 11. I forgot to add that in the story, so I’ll put it here. - Breakfast: Granola w/ milk. Oh, note. The milk is powdered milk. We add water. - Lunch: Cream cheese and raspberry jelly on bagels - Dinner: Peanut tai pasta. Day 12 We woke up and had grape nuts with milk for breakfast. We added the leftover granola to sweeten it. Then we had our mourning dip…dum dum dum! The water was much warmer that in the ocean! Then we set out. The day before Sloan had hurt her shoulder (She has reoccurring problems with it) and she was in a lot of pain. The route for that day was to get her to a hospital. We set out. It was sunny. My partner was Shawn. It’s OK, though. He was fine. But the canoe wasn’t. We couldn’t get it to steer straight. We both tried steering, but it didn’t work. We kept going left and right, back and forth, like we were tacking. I was SOOOO frustrated and angry. I got so angry because I was slowing the group down and we needed to get Sloan to the hospital. Oh, I just remembered—speaking of hospitals. On the day we returned to Wheeler Bay, Keeba went to the hospital b/c of her toe. She had had surgery on it before she came, and the doctor said it would be okay to come on the trip. Well it wasn’t getting better, so they took her to the hospital to see what to do. She came back that night; I don’t know how her toe is now. Anyway, so Shawn and I “switched” partners. It was w/ Qu again. Meredith told me I was doing all the strokes perfectly, and she didn’t know what was wrong. I wasn’t over-stroking like they thought. Meredith shifted the bags in our canoe and said that the weight distribution (too much in the front) may have caused the “crazy canoe.” It was. We began to paddle again and everything was fine. The sky, however, became clouded and it was windy, so the waves were choppy. There was a large stretch of wa-ter we had to cross. We decided that if we couldn’t cross together, as a group, safely, we would turn back. That’s what happened. Keeba and Carmen’s canoe and the counselors’ canoe were way behind the rest (4). They called us back. When we landed the counselors met with us. They were angry and said we didn’t care for each other as a group. Meredith was so upset she began to cry. Everyone was all mad because we had to turn back when we had been about ½ way or ? of the way there! The counselors told us to sit and talk about how to make the group “work” better. As a group we had created a written contract while in Stonington. It set forth various aspects of group dynamics and how to act. It wasn’t working apparently. We were all yelling at each other. I think we were all just tense because we were worried about Sloan. I didn’t care that we had turned back, and I wasn’t mad at anyone. I just raised my voice so that people would be quiet while Keeba talked—they always talk over her. For the record, I had said “Guys, let’s wait, the others are far behind.” The others said it was OK. We were together. Plus, we would have been set back by the waves and wind. I had cared. Apparently, the counselors had tried to get our attention by whistles and shouting for 15 minutes while paddling towards us. We didn’t hear them. Before our meeting we had had a PB&J (rasp.) on bagel lunch. Several people had slipped and fallen on the rocks where we were. That also raised the tension and tempers. We had had scolding talks from Meredith before for various reasons. One problem our group has is that we can’t meet time goals, so we’re constantly late. Nothing the counselors do can change us. They think we don’t care. I think there are some in the group that don’t care. I do. I’m putting my heart into this course. I remarked to Qu how the sky had changed and seemed to mirror the group’s mood. So it really does happen like that. It does get cloudy and gray when things go wrong. Or maybe things go wrong when it gets cloudy and gray? We returned to camp early because our second plan to get Sloan to another hospital also didn’t work. No one was willing. As we rowed back we stayed close to shore where the water was calmer. There were thousands of little black water buts skimming across the surface of the water en masse. Earlier that day—when the sun was out—there had been swarms of dragonflies near the shore. Meredith and Catherine told us to be happy because dragonflies eat mosquitoes. Nights @ camp are murder because of the mosquitoes. Bug spray only works to a certain extent. I’ve been bitten, but don’t itch much after a while, so I’m fine. When we got back to camp, Meredith asked if I was willing to row another 8 miles to take Sloan to the hospital. I said I was. She told me to get water and a snack and that we would be leaving in 30 minutes. I did and helped put up our tent. Then, we all said good-bye to Sloan, and Meredith and I set off. It was a solemn and silent departure. I felt like I was rowing someone to their death sentence. In a way I kind of was. We probably will never see Sloan in person again. Oh, the past two days (not today) I was navigator, so I was in charge of getting us to where we needed to be. While we rowed Sloan to meet the people (from OB) that would take Sloan to the hospital, it started to rain. It was Sunday, so I sang praise and worship songs to myself while I rowed. After doing a mid-lake transfer, Meredith and I set back. We rested a bit and let the wind push us (it was headed toward camp). We shared some peanut butter M&Ms and talked about the group a bit. Then we headed back and she asked me questions about me and my life. As we got closer to camp, we began to look for places for Solo. Meredith thinks she saw a moose, but she’ not sure We got back just in time for dinner. Rice and beans with salsa on tortillas. At evening meeting we continued our discussion on how to make this group “work.” Sometimes I just don’t understand how some people think. They were so upset that we had to turn back. Who cares? They couldn’t understand that the group needs to stay together. It’s not hard. Wait! We/they decided that we don’t have to be friends, we just have to respect each other (and work together, I add. We need to put aside all our feelings and crap and do what we need to do—see letter to group). We think Solo—time away from the group—will help. We had oatmeal for breakfast today. I was scrubs, but helped Melani cook since Jake (the other cook today) cooked yesterday for Sloan. We decided to get out the granola, grape nuts, brown sugar, and milk to add to the oatmeal for a few reasons. 1) So people would eat it—a lot don’t like oatmeal, 2) so there would be lots to “stock up” on, and 3) to use of the left over food so we don’t have to throw it away. Then we had Solo briefing and set out. I set up my tarp @ my Solo site and then wrote the letters (as I wrote earlier). I’ve spent all day writing, drinking water, and peeing. I decided to fast because I’ve never fasted before and might as well, since I can. It’s a good challenge, and in this time of reflection and meditation, I can do this for God since I couldn’t bring my Bible and devos. The flies here are so annoying. I have bugs spray on but they still buzz around my ears. And that’s the worst part. I can’t see them, only hear them. Sometimes, if I do see one I swat at it. I laugh at myself because I think that the fly I hit will go get all his friends and swarm me. Well, it’s kinda funny because it kinda was happening—they were flying all over—around my and my tarp and bag. Another thing. I was flicking the slugs off my stuff (there are sooooo many)…and thought that it might call all the slugs to cover me while I sleep. Funny. My bags have several slugs on them. ? I sang some more praise songs earlier. I decided that since I have little food and now since I’m fasting, I won’t do my exercises I had planned. Not like I have the space as I had envisioned/dreamed. ? I have some of my wet things out to dry. Earlier, I was feeling pretty lonely. I really do reply on people for energy. I’m Ok now. I feel like this is some how the end even though we still have a week left. I don’t know. I’m just throwing down all my thoughts quickly. I wonder what the others are doing? I don’t want to write any more, but I told myself I would finish all the journaling today. I don’t have much left. I’m going to get up and walk around. I think I have about 3-4 more hours of sunlight still. Be back soon. Back. Just a little more to write and then maybe I’ll write some haikus or go lie down or both. There’s an inchworm on this page up here ?. It’s circled. I was just checked up on by Catherine and Meredith. As I was taking down my socks (wool)—they’re dry now—I was thinking how a lot of stuff is going to be great for running in the winter and rain. Can’t wait! I was a bit homesick (I kept wanting to write sea sick) when I though of running with dad! So just some other thoughts. I haven’t washed with soap or scrubbed my body for almost 2 weeks now. Nor have I changed my clothes. I don’t feel dirty or anything. It’s great! The past couple nights I had dreams about Wooster Music Camp—either being at camp or on the campus. I really loved it—more than I know apparently. I guess I do miss it. I really hope I can go back next year. So I was thinking how because of all those morning dips, I’m not “scared” I guess you can say of salt wa-ter. I just didn’t like the taste and last summer @ Aunt Jenny’s, swimming in the ocean for the first time was a shock. Also, I was swimming alone then and didn’t want to swim far and it was cold, windy and cloudy then. I was so disappointed in myself because I would have to get over that fear if I wanted to be in the Coast Guard. We had just come from visiting the Academy. Anyway, now I don’t mind the taste and don’t quite fear the vastness of the ocean as much. ? Yay! OK, so yesterday, when I was taking Sloan to the hospital, the others had to journal about what they wanted to get from this trip. I feel obligated to do it. Be positive. This is the last thing to write today! Journal Exercise #? I don’t know/remember and don’t want to look back and see. I want to say 4 or 5. ? - (Question previous page) Well, I came on this to see if I enjoyed/was able to live on a boat and not get sea sick and also see if living on the ocean was “for me.” If both these things were true, I would continue to work towards applying to the USCGA. Wow, it just hit me how important this trip really was/is. Anyway, I didn’t get sea sick and it was fun living on the ocean. I must say though, that this was proba-bly more rustic than living on a USCG boat/cutter, but we’ll see. Also, I’m going to be able to take away more confidence and courage and leave behind fear. I’ve had to do things that were outside my comfort zone/that I was scared or nervous to do, but I was strong and did them. I have to remember that courage when I go home. I shouldn’t be afraid to go first or do something no one else wants to do. So there. Done. ? Yay! Day 14, 8/4, Time: unknown, morning. The sun moves in a weird path based on my location, so it’s hard to judge time with it. I can only give generalization. Just a quick update. I “made it through” the first night—but it’s not as if I was worried about anything. After finishing writing in this, I wrote some haikus, got ready for bed, and worked on my BD narrative. I went to bed at about dusk/sundown—near 8:30, I’m told. When I woke up, the sun was kinda high in the sky, but it’s still morning. My guess 9/9:30. About the critters—since there’s really nothing else to write about I like poking the slugs and watching their antennae and heads retreat into their body. There are more bees here today. Boo! Two stories about mosquitoes. - One: When I was rowing w/ Meredith two days ago, a mosquito was buzzing in my ear, so I waved at it with my hand. It flew forward to where I could see it. When I put my hand down, it flew back to my ear. When I waved it away again, it did the same thing. - Two: I was sitting here writing in the evening last night and a mosquito landed on the tree in front of me. I could only see its profile. It was as if it were on a secret mission. It thought I couldn’t see it and I pretended I couldn’t (in my head). It was waiting ‘til I looked away and planning its next move… (Yes, that’s how I amuse myself. ?) There were two spiders on my PFD this morning. One had made a nice little web in the arm hole. I was sorry I had to destroy it. I’m really not that hungry surprisingly. There were times when I was mentally hungry, but my stomach did not growl. There were maybe 2 or 3 times when my stomach did rumble, but that’s it. Catherine said to drink a lot of water if you’re hungry. That’s what I’ve been doing—drinking lot’s of water. She said drink if you’re sad, bored, tired, lonely, etc. Drink! Fasting isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I think it’s all mental. … I’m going to work on that thing for Melani. I want to do a “name in nature” type thing, but I don’t know…we’ll see. Then, when I’m done with that, I’ll continue writing my narrative. Over and out. I’m back. It’s later in the day—almost time for bed. Maybe 1-2 hours? I spent the morning working on the thing for Melani. I was only able to “do” “MEL” well, and I tied it together (though not well) with a vine-like plant (small ground covering). Then I worked on my narrative about BD/martial arts history. I also took a nap. I don’t know how long it was, though. After about 24 hours of fasting I decided to eat. I ate the sesame sticks I had brought b/c I thought I would use that bag, but they gave me another. I decided that I would have to eat the food eventually. My original plan was to eat it all tomorrow morn-ing before I was picked up, but Meredith said yesterday night when they came to check on me that they have big plans for tomorrow and will be picking us up earlier than we expected/planned. So then I thought I would eat the 2 tortillas and block of cheese for dinner (which I just did) and have the orange and snack for breakfast. There’s a lot of snack, so I had 1.5 handfuls @ dinner. The snack is actually 2 snacks mixed together. GORP (good old raisins and peanuts) and a salty snack mix: gold fish, pretzels, sesame sticks, and corn nuts (Fried corn kernels that taste like Fritos). So that reminds me—SNACK! I can’t believe I forgot to talk about snacks! We have snacks to eat throughout the day. Here’s a list (we have 1 or 2 a day) GORP with yogurt-covered pretzels Corn nuts Apples and oranges Sesame sticks Pretzels “salty snack mix” Dried fruits: apricots and apples The GORP is the best. Anyway, I think I’m going to have some more snack, get ready for bed, write some haikus, and go to bed. Solo’s almost over. ? It’s been good, though! One week left… Day 16, 8/6, 8:00pm A note about the fog before I forget. … When we were in the fog, shapes did seem to shift and materialize in the fog—it’s true! I kept thinking I saw the bell. I’d only seen the bell 1 time, but I was almost positive I aw it, but it wasn’t there and we sailed on… Oh, and on the Wooster dreams! The folder I keep my paper in is the Wooster one from this year. It has the “castle” on it, and I think that’s why I dreamed about being there. Dear friends and family, I need to finish talking about Solo. The second night I had trouble falling asleep for a few reasons. 1: I took an undetermined-length nap. 2: It was SO hot. 3, the bug net and the mosquitoes. Let me explain. We were given a tarp and 4 strings. My tarp had 6 holes. I used my two shoe strings for the other holes. I made a “ridge” with the middle holes b/n two trees and then pulled the corners down and out, so it was like a tent w/o 2 sides and a bottom. We had our sleep mat and sleeping bag. We had our head bug net and a “body” one. The problem with the bug net is that it should be hung away from the body, not used like a blanket (like we had to do). So the mosquitoes could still land on us and bite us—AND they bit through clothes!!! Dang, they are sooooo annoying. They fly by our ears and you can hear their whine and then it stops and you feel a little prick. Buzzing around the ear is the worst. I hated them. They were asdfjkl; annoying. I realized during the day how close I was to camp—2 people away. I could swim there or walk in the shallows there. NOT far at all but out here, things far away look really close and yet they never move or get closer. You paddle and paddle and it doesn’t get closer. It’s disheartening, but it makes it a great challenge—strengthening. One last note: the night I couldn’t sleep, the moon was really bright! It’s still really bright. 9:35pm We’re all in bed now, but I have to CATCH UP. I use bug spray like it’s deodorant. It is my deodorant! When we got back form Solo (we had to be quiet going back just like we did going out). We had sweet bread—yeah, we can make bread here w/ PB&J (rasp.). We talked about our experiences—high/low points, learning, etc. We had tortillas w/ cheese and pepperoni for lunch. I was cook w/ Qu. Then we paddled. It was pretty windy, so we were “beached” once we crossed the bay. We were at a great “beach” though. The waves were breaking and it was just great. I was laying in the pebbles and the waves, and I wished that it was sand so that the water would destroy the mounds of stones I made. I longed to be back on the beach last summer—now that my fear of the ocean is gone. I must say, it was a great day to paddle. It was sunny and a strong breeze was blowing. Every once in a while, the spray from the canoe or the paddles would splash up and spray my face! It was a gorgeous day! While we were on the beach, we did an activity. We “grouped” ourselves based on leadership type. We also talked about the task pyramid/triangle. Each is important, but sometimes it shifts in diff. situations. Later we paddled on. The waves were pretty intense. Diego was in the bow while I mastered the art of steering in the stern. Jake, the captain decided to rest before we crossed another bay (we were following the shore before). Unfortunately, it was a rocky shore. The waves were huge. At one point, Diego and I rode up a huge wave on the way to shore. As we came down there was a huge rock (usually submerged in calm seas) on our starboard side (right). It was so terrifying. It was as if some great creature was rearing out of the deep to attack our canoe. “Row!” I yelled to Diego while I did a quick stroke to avoid the rock. It was terrifying but also exhilarating and exciting! The coast was a terrible place to stop. The wind was blowing on it, so it’s called a lee shore. The waves were huge. They were crashing over the sides of our beached boats—and the boats had been pulled up pretty far. We sat there for a while while the captains, navs and instructors planned our next course. We left camp at three. It was 5 now. We had a few hours of sunlight left—it had already stared to sink. It was pretty beautiful. The rocks and pebbles on the shore were nice and perfect. I wanted to bring one, but I kept picking them up and saying “Oh, this one’s nice, too!” So I decided to leave them all and “keep” them in my journal as I just did. We saw a salamander and crawfish while we’re there. Cool critters! At this time I had to go to the bathroom, so I had to go back 50 feet from shore. It was strange, weird, and eerie because the trees to about 8 feet up were all dead. It was still and silent—they scratched my face and bare limbs and pulled at my loose clothing. I thought the forest might be dying—like a dying reality in the Withern Rise trilogy. I thought about it more later when we were walking along the coast (see below) and saw the dead tree trunks. The coast is slowly eroding, so the forest is dying because eventually the coast will be where the forest is. I doubt this is true, but I like thinking about eerie/creepy stuff like that. Anyway, there was a campsite along that coast about ¼ mile away from where we were. We couldn’t paddle, so we had to walk there with our packs. As we walked, pebbles got into our shoes and we were wet. Then we had to “bush crash” a path to get along some of the rocky parts of the shore. As we walked, trees (pines) scratched our bodies. We were all physically uncomfortable, but it was a great physical challenge for me (and mental)! I pushed through it and didn’t let the SMALL pain bother me. If that experience doesn’t make a person stronger, tougher, then I don’t know what would. I LOVED that experience. Then we walked back, sometimes practically swimming along the shore in all our clothes to get the canoes. We rowed them back, now that they were empty. It was great fun! To cheer myself up—though I wasn’t sad—to stay uplifted, I sang songs from Wicked—specifically One Short Day. It was great. We cooked pasta alfredo for dinner. Day 17, 8/7, 5:00pm Dear Friends and Family, We’re waiting to do a journal activity so I thought I’d journal—constantly trying to catch up! Yesterday… We had granola for breakfast then set out. Once we got out, the waves were fine. We stopped at this island and there were two “caves”—they were small, 5 feet max, but they were sooooo cool. When we got close to land we could hear our voices/echoes! Cool. It happens a lot near land. ? When we were paddling, I saw a water plane take off and land sever times! We were kinda far away, though, so it was hard to see it clearly… Oh, around the same time, I realized it is/was my ½ b-day! 1 year since I have been driving! Yeah. We had cheese and salsa on tortillas for lunch. Before that, though, we did capsize drill—we practiced what we have to do if a boat capsizes. 4 Pillars of OB – Journaling Exercise #n ? miss precalc. - Physical Fitness - Self-reliance - Craftsmanship - Service COMPASSION 1) Question: Look at pillars. Which is my most successful on this course? Embodied? I think I best embody physical fitness the most. I came in extremely
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