Angela Thai - 10/02/09
Hello! My name is Angela Thai and I was sponsored by a program called Summer Search for my Outward Bound trip. I went on a 22day kayaking and mountaineering course. When i returned from my trip, I was required to write a refection essay. However, instead of writing an essay, I wrote a poem. Please enjoy !
Dearest Summer Search,
First day and a tiny 1-mile run from the boat to camp,
Put me in a tired, dull, and exhausted haze,
I just repeat to myself “Angela, twenty-two more days.”
Let me cut you a small slice of what I went through,
So you’ll see how my new life lessons were derived
And for dessert—what my life is like now, with those lessons applied.
Imagine this, well I’ll suggest you just try
Waking up 3am, no extra time to just lie.
Step two, dampened wets suits quickly on putting to mold,
The temperature two notches below freezing cold.
Oh no, that’s just a half hour after waking up,
The only relaxation from here is the hot chocolate in your cup.
And cause I don’t have another thirty-three extra papers to waste,
About the next three hours that we had to make haste,
I’ll do a short summary,
Hey everyone, don’t forget to:
Roll up your sleeping bag, eat breakfast while the water is still boilin’
Oh no! Someone help, the tide is coming in and the kayaks are in the water a floatin’
Grab the group gear, attempt to stuff it into your sack,
Then we gotta move the kayak,
(Did I mention those things are as heavy as a railroad still attached to the track,
Carrying those things, force my morning fatigue to crack.)
Hey! Don’t forget that spoon! Are you packing that food bag today?
Did you take your tarp down yet? Are you sure that buckle is going to stay?
And I shrug my shoulders cause it is only 5am and it’s a Monday.
My course was not the most calm and soothing,
And as you can see,
Everyday was not easy and full of glee.
However, new experience #42863
Before trip flashback,
I lay down content and happy in my bed,
Reminisce about my whole day, and guess what was in my head?
I listened to music, talked on the phone, went online, ate, and slept,
Worst part was, the next hour, I did the same things; only in a different order.
But that changed faster than the seasons,
And during my trip, I went to sleep happy for much different reasons,
Hey, Angela what’d you do today?
Oh, nothing much except, I climbed 7000 feet,
Found a different berry that me and my group could eat,
Went straight uphill in 100 degree weather heat,
And had about 1000 mosquitoes gnaw away at my meat.
I must reiterate, I went to sleep happy.
Sounds miserable yes, but I can’t explain why and how
But I would do anything to re-live those moments right now.
Those five minutes before I went to sleep,
My heart weighed heavier than the biggest lion’s,
Cause it was filled with how I proud I was.
Realizing how much me and myself have accomplished that day without fear,
Made my mouth permanently stretch from ear to ear.
Shall we move onto another memory?
Sitting in my kayak, miserable and shivering,
Performing rescues today, 20 degree weather, -20 degree water, non-stop bickering
Yes, my hands were unyieldingly numb,
My nose was becoming runny, and I came so close to being done.
However, I listen around “I’m not going to do this”
“Nope, I give up, doing this was not on the course list”
It was a disgusting atmosphere of failure all around,
Which added to my extreme motivation rebound.
I kept my dismal outlook on a leash,
And promised myself I’m going to do this without one complain or “sheesh”
So take one worn out and exhausted me,
Add three failed tries,
Multiply it by a drive for achievement,
And the product,
My biggest attainment.
By that fourth try/success,
I knew my change was making progress.
My homesickness suppressed,
Growth I felt I could grab and possess,
Swollen with confidence I confess,
This feeling so permanent it could have its own address.
Never in my life recognized this emotion,
Before my trip, times where I should’ve been proud for my endeavor
I was silenced and told “You can always do better.”
Now new life lesson #424783294 or was it 295 I can’t even remember anymore,
Genuine strength is measured not just by your accomplishments,
But how willing you were to keep getting back up on the horse for them.
I would love to conclude these life summarizing rhymes and schemes
With an immense, boldened, underlined, emphasized Thank You to Summer Search.
ALL OF YOU HAVE MADE MY DREAMS.
From the gear that kept me warm on my trip,
To the letter from my mentor, Lissa, when I came back home telling me I finally did it!
I come back shining with more magnitude than the stars,
And a bigger appreciation for everything from here to Mars,
And I mention the solar system,
Because this experience has infected
My Soul and my system.
“There is more to us than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives we will be unwilling to settle for less.”
First words on my course, said to me,
Meaningless at first, but now my new life story.
This is the new me. Angela Thai.
My own mentality. My own will to go far.
They ask when my determination is gonna pop,
How ‘bout a minute past never?
Yeah, that’s when I’ll stop.
